Posts Tagged ‘networking’

How to Ask Great Questions

Posted By damien on March 9th, 2010

Asking Questions

I’m taking a short break from financial posts and exploring other topics.  This post will help you ask better questions in teaching, business and personal settings.

Everyone asks questions, and for many different reasons.

An effective teacher uses questions to see if his student understands, accepts, and applies what is being taught.  A great salesperson asks questions to see if her customer is willing to buy and to determine their objections.  An effective “networker” asks questions to develop business relationships.

Through my experiences, I have come across three different types of questions that we use.  Each category is useful for different reasons.  These types of questions, from least to most effective, are as follows:

  1. Factual questions
  2. Reasoning questions
  3. Emotional questions

Let’s look at each category and see how effective they are.  We’ll apply these questions to teaching situations, but they can easily be modified to work for salespersons and networkers.

Factual Questions

Example: “In what year was the Declaration of Independence signed?”

These questions are used primarily to see if the student is paying attention and understands the lesson material. Factual questions do not evoke much thinking or feeling on the part of the student, but require a mere recitation of what the teacher has already stated. Factual questions are not open-ended, the answers are usually objective, and many times there is only one correct response.

Reasoning Questions

Example: “Why was it necessary for the States to declare independence from England?”

Reasoning questions are the next level up in quality. These questions require more critical thinking on the part of the student than do factual questions. These are used by the teacher to see how well the student understands what is being taught, and whether or not the student accepts it. Answers to these questions are more subjective, they include more of the student’s opinion than do answers to factual questions.

A student, in answering the example question, could follow a couple different paths of reasoning. Perhaps the student does not believe the US should have broken off from England. If so, then the student would answer that it not necessary.

On the other hand, if the student does believe in US independence then she would respond with various reasons as to why.

Reasoning questions are a great way to see if the listener understands and agrees with what you are teaching.

Emotional Questions

Example: “How is your life different because of the American Revolution?”

This is the best type of question. Emotional questions cause the student to tie the material being taught to his or her own life. When learning, students love to ask, “What does this have to do with real life?” When a teacher uses an emotional question, the students discover the real-life application for themselves! To answer an emotional question, the student must link the information being learned to personal experience.

Emotional questions start with a premise (sometimes called “begging the question”) and cause the student to work from that premise to apply the material being learned. The premise in the example question is that the American Revolution had some impact on the life of the student.

If the example question were made instead into a reasoning question, it would go something like this: “Has the American Revolution had any impact on your life?” The difference between the result of a reasoning question versus an emotional question is evident in these two preceding examples.

Better Questions = Better Answers

Every teacher’s dream is to have students who understand, accept, and apply what is being taught.

By using factual questions, the teacher learns if the student is paying attention and understands the material. Answers to reasoning questions show a deeper understanding and acceptance of the information.

The best questions of all, emotional questions, help the student make personal applications of the concepts being taught. By using these three types of questions, teachers will become more effective in instructing and inspiring their students.

So…how do you use questions?

It Pays to be Vulnerable

Posted By damien on April 28th, 2009

Here’s another Big Idea from Keith Ferrazzi’s book Never Eat Alone:

It pays to be vulnerable when meeting new people. Lots of us wonder how to make small talk more meaningful. The conventional wisdom on small talk is that you should stay away from anything controversial, unpleasant, or personal. Unfortunately, this leaves us with conversation that is light, meaningless and forgettable. We care little for those conversations and never remember them. Problem is, when “networking” we want to remember and be remembered.

Keith’s solution is to leave the wimpy topics behind and get real. “But what if I bring up a topic that they disagree with me about”, you ask, “won’t that be, like, totally awkward?” Here’s Keith’s reply, which I agree with wholeheartedly:

Personally, I’d rather be interested in what someone was saying, even if I disagreed, than be catatonic any day.

So, how do we leave behind the banal pleasantries and get real? This is where being vulnerable comes into play:

Too many people confuse secrecy with importance…Power, today, comes from sharing information, not withholding it. Of course, this isn’t a call to be confrontational or disrespectful. It’s a call to be honest, open, and vulnerable enough to genuinely allow other people into your life so they can be vulnerable in return.

Keith goes on to give an example from his life of using vulnerability while meeting people. He attended a business dinner a few hours after his girlfriend broke up with him, so he was feeling pretty down, not really in the mood for meeting new people. He made “small talk” with the woman sitting next to him, but could tell his heart and her interest were not in it. So he apologized for not being very fun and explained that he had recently gone through a difficult break-up.

She immediately opened up, telling him that she very much understood how he was feeling, and proceeded to inform him about her divorce. Other guests at the table overheard their conversation and joined in with their experiences and relationship advice. The dinner turned out to be a great success and Keith made new friends and business associates as a result.

Moral of the story: Safety—whether in conversation, business, or life—generally produces safe (boring) results. The Big Idea is to be vulnerable when meeting new people and it will lead to better conversations and better beginnings to your relationships.

Small Talk: Make Meaningful Conversation

Posted By damien on April 20th, 2009

secretWelcome to my new blog. Now that the semester is over, I have more time to fill the interweb with banalities and fluff. Just kidding! I have decided to blog about meaningful things, you know, stuff that is worth reading. In fact, the theme I chose for this blog is “big ideas in bite-sized portions”.

I am reading a great book called Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. The Big Idea of the book is that networking should be meaningful, in fact it shouldn’t even be called “networking”, it should be called building relationships. One of his Big Ideas is that you should keep a written record of great ideas you come across. Not really a new idea, right!

Well, the Big Idea part of it is that he suggests you keep a record of great ideas and share them with people that you want to keep in contact with. There are people we want to keep in contact with, just aren’t sure of a better way of doing it than saying, “Hey, I was thinking about you and wanted to say hi.” Sure, that’s a decent way of keeping in touch, but why not add value to their lives while touching base?

So, when you make contact, share a valuable bit of information that you have recently learned. That Big Idea led to the birth of this blog. This blog will be the receptacle for the big ideas I come across. That way I have them indexed and easily accessible, and maybe they will add value to your life!

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